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April 22nd, 2008
04:19 pm - Woah
I got married the other day ffffffffff
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/bouncey.gif) bouncy
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April 12th, 2007
November 6th, 2006
10:19 pm - Mystery solved.
Question: What ever happened to old school goths?
Answer: They became makeup artists.
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August 15th, 2005
02:00 am - God it's been a lovely day. Everything's been going my way. I had so much fun today and I'm on fire.
Amy's in the Bahamas right now. She'll be back on Tuesday. Her phone's been turned off the whole time she's been gone which is kind of obnoxious.
I'm living in my new place now. It's effectively downtown. All I have to do is hike up a hill and I'm there. I pray to God that I lose some weight this semester since I'll be getting off my lazy and doing stuff and walking everywhere. Location aside I kinda like my old place a little better. The rooms here are small, I have to share a bathroom, and it's much more expensive, but I guess that's the price of good location. It's not as if I get up and dance around my room regularly anyway so it's not a big issue.
I went to the lake this weekend with Brandon, Jenn, Robert, Meghan, and Patrick. I had a pretty good time aside from the moderate sunburn and some stupid shit on Sunday I won't even go into on here. I got drunk last night. The most drunk I've ever been, (which isn't saying much because I've only been drunk one other time. I had a few Jack and Cokes, then once the coke was gone, gatorade and vodka. I was really gone. I couldn't screen the things coming out of my mouth, they just came out as I thought them. I remember myself at least being coherent and at least somewhat eloquent. I do recall doing lots of giggling and occasionally covering my mouth and blushing. As Meghan pointed out, I seem to become a regular chatty cathy once I get drunk. We all were supposed to go to bed around 3:30 but I kept talking Meghan's ear off for God knows how long before I finally shut up and let her get to sleep. Still not sure when I went out, but I do know I got up just before 8 when the sun decided to pull a Raiders of the Lost Arc on my left eyeball. After going downstairs to check my phone for the time, I came back up and spent the next hour and a half trying unsuccessfully go back to sleep, and a subsequent half an hour trying to figure out whether or not to wake up anyone else before I finally realized Jenn was already up.
Highlight of today was probably my decision that cutting a spin on the Seadoo going 35 mph was not only something within the realm of physics as we know it, but also a damn good idea. I started laughing the instant I launched sidelong off the damn thing. When I came up the Seadoo was about 20 to 30 feet away from me. Unfortunately later I noticed a spot on my leg that hurt pretty badly. I can only imagine this came from me wanging my leg upon the seat or some other outcropping as I went flying.
I'm not entirely sure but I seem to be suffering some sort of prolongued inebriation. I know I'm not drunk and I'm certainly not high, but I certainly feel as if I'm in an altered state. I don't have any problems with words flying out but my train of thought does seem to be a bit off the rails since last night. I've still been talking a lot. I strongly considered writing an entire LJ post in a sonnet using iambic pentameter, then cramming it into paragraph format then waiting to see if anyone noticed (I realized I was far to lazy and tired at this point. I'm also using a smattering of short and to the point sentences instead of my normal run-on garbage. I just realized what this feeling is. At most I think I got about 2 hours of sleep last night. I'm not high, it's sleep deprivation. I feel much more at ease now. It's still kinda strange, and subsequently I may say some odd and fairly unguarded things.
I realized this weekend that I'm not gonna see Meghan or Gwynne very often for a long time. This made me sad. I've known Meghan for a long time but we've never been as close as I'd have liked and I was just getting to know Gwynne and finding out we have a lot of interest in common, particularly things that I have no other person I can actually talk to in real life about. The Gwynne goodbye boat kinda already sailed without me but at least we get one more hurrah for Meghan before she goes away. I'll miss them both a lot, but they present a good reason to go check out Seattle and I know they'll be back here every now and then. I live very much in the present, and throughout life people have come and gone from my life like water, their time as my friends done as they go to new things as various factors split us apart, but there are just some people I can't let that happen with and Meghan and Gwynne happen to be two of them.
In summary:
1) The sun should be replaced with some form of warm, ambient lighting that doesn't cook you with radiation.
2) Physics wins every time
3) Being a talkative drunk is both fun and dangerous.
4) You don't know what you've got till it's gone.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/restless.gif) restless
Current Music: The Dresden Dolls - Coin Operated Boy
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April 23rd, 2005
03:56 pm - The day the whole world went away
Lots on my mind lately. I've been meaning to talk about it all and I guess now I will. Lately I've been thinking about how I think. More specifically I've been wondering if other people's internal monologue is the same as mind. I wonder how they're different. I wonder if there are people out there who think purely in ideas or images or sounds rather than words. This was all sparked by a disussion in SA's comic forum, Batman's Shameful Secret. Someone posted in BSS asking what voices people heard when they read specific characters in comics. Lots of people responded giving their own answers. A few us, myself included, responded by saying we don't imagine voices when when read. When I see words on a page I don't imagine a voice that goes along with them. I simply see what's written and understand. I kind of wonder if I'm missing out on anything by not imagining those voices.
This kind of derailed into wondering about other ways I comprehend or think about things and how they're different from others. Something I recently realized was a lot of the time the way I think unravels like one of Vonnegut's Kilgore Trout stories within his books. I've decided to think of Vonnegut as the author of dozens of different autobiographies, but that's a discussion for another time. What I was getting at is that when I start daydreaming about something it can be some big master plan or a whole life story that unfolds. I may occasionally get side tracked by details but for the most part it's just distilled into all the major important parts then I'm done with the fantasy and move on. This reminds me of all the stories Trout has in Vonnegut's books. These are all stories that Vonnegut thinks up and wants to get out there but doesn't feel like fleshing out. I feel the same way about a lot of my fantasies. The difference between this and me is that I'm even to lazy to relay mine as short stories. To try to express to others my train of thought I'm going to attempt to give you an accurate recreation of one such fantasy of mine. Of course this happened a while ago and writing stream of concious from memory is kind of dumb to begin with but hey, I've got nothing better to do right now. I'll have to provide some third person narrative to let you know the context in which these thoughts were occuring.
So here for your amusement, interest, or horror is a recreation of my mind at work:
( Click to be astonished! Plus bonus WoW musings after the show! )
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April 20th, 2005
03:19 am - ephemeral style
Mini WoW Fashion Show time.
( Just so I'm not a jackass to anyone who has me on their friends page )
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/cranky.gif) cranky
Current Music: Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc
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March 18th, 2005
01:36 am - Cause we find ourselves in the same old mess singing drunken lullabies
I'm working now and it's already getting a little odd. For a lot of the time I'm there it's as if I'm an observer riding around in someone else's body. I imagine eight hours of repetitive work can do that to anyone. I hear my voice and I know it's myself talking to people on the phone but there aren't any of my cognitive faculties being used, it's just a shell going through the motions and my mind is somehow detatched and just there. Back when I was doing the church lawn it was different. I was on autopilot, but not in the same way. The mowing allowed my mind the wander and to think about other things. With this I'm on autopilot, but I still have to be there monitoring. I think the key difference is that in this case I'm having to dynamically interact with other people but I'm still moving along rails so I don't have the same kind of mental freedom. It's pretty annoying, but working right now is a higher priority than keeping myself entertained so I think I'll just keep at it until something better comes along or until I find it unbearable.
Along those same lines, I've been recently contemplating what it means for people adapt, endure, and overcome. To be more specific the distinction of enduring and surviving vs. enduring and overcoming. I think I'll write more on it once I get some free time but it basically comes down to the idea that the human adaptability that has let us overcome the earth and the stars and limited us when it comes to our own lives. Humans have an astounding ability to adapt to horrible situations and endure through them. The problem is when people adapt to an adverse situation and are then able to endure it, they will not try to change or improve that situation. Even the most deplorable situation can be sustainable and when people merely accept that situation because they can survive in it, that's a bad thing. Basically what I'm thinking is that the biggest advantage humans have among living creatures is also a liability when it comes to advancement of our world. I'm sure this sounds like rambling gibberish. Perhaps I'll be better able to articulate these ideas when I'm more sober. Today was Saint Patrick's Day after all.
Tonight was the first time I tried Jameson's. It has a bit of the sweetness of a bourbon style whiskey but had the dry and mostly flavorless finish of a Scotch whisky, which I don't really care for. I think I'll stick to my Jack Daniel's when it comes to liquor but Jameson's is still drinkable, especially at $3.50 a glass at the Globe. Also, I can't understand anyone that would want to drink whiskey any way but neat.
As Jenny and I were leaving the Globe I wanted to make a toast for the evening because it seemed appropriate, but my mouth kind of sealed itself. I doubt I'd have come up with anything of worth anyway. The only toast I could think of was Hob Gadling's from Season of Mists. I love the toast but I can't think of any time I'll ever be able to use it. If I ever do find that appropriate time, I'm certain everyone around me would instantly think I was obviously the coolest person ever. I suppose I'll record it here for posterity or for anyone who has never heard it before:
"A toast: To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due."
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March 7th, 2005
03:46 am - The boy had the towering arrogance only seen in the greatest of artists and all nine-year-old boys.
I've got a job!
It's a mediocre paying job sitting on my ass answering phones taking orders. When you just sit around all day trying to find ways to fill time and wishing you had any money, it's a pretty pleasing alternative though.
On the topic of filling time, I think I'm starting to get bored with City of Heroes. Pretty short run for an MMORPG, especially by my standards. To be honest though it's not like CoH is oozing with content. There's a lot of things they do right, and they're constantly adding new content, it doesn't offer a terrible amount of variety. I think I'll be closing out my subscription after Issue 4 comes out, but at the same time I'm a little sad about that since I've had a great time talking with the Goon community, but CoH, much like my autumn days of everquest is becoming something I log in to chat with, stand around, then log out.
Of course quitting CoH most likely means I'll be plunging head first into WoW shortly there after. At least that way I'll be able to catch up with a few friends who have outright disappeared since the release of that damn thing. Amy won't be please. Somehow I think she views City of Heroes to be the lesser of MMORPG evils compared to WoW. Not that she appreciates anything that distracts me from her.
Thanks to Amy I've been wandering around deviantart lately. I feel kind of conflicted about. In part it wants me to attempt to draw. On the other hand there are some truly horrifying pieces of bad art that I can't believe people thought fit to show off. Good for those people for not being self conscious about their work...but sad for the art viewing masses that may run across said work.
I suppose my lamentation over my lack of creativity earlier wasn't terribly well founded. I don't have any stories in my head, but I have plenty of images. Imagery I wish I my hands were smart enough to put on paper, but at least there's something there. It's still no less frustrating than having the ability to write but not the source of inspiration.
Sometimes when talking to people I wonder if I'm getting too verbose. A few weeks ago I was out with Caroline and Jenny when they pointed out I had used the word amalgam twice that evening. I like to think I keep that thing to a minimum. I get a little self conscious about it whenever I read any of Tycho's Penny Arcade updates. I know I have a tendency to use some excessively large words you don't see in every day speech but whenever I read Tycho's updates I just see  . It's annoying, especially whenever I have to read the same thing over again to figure out what the fuck he's trying to say. I like the comic, but I think the guy is trying a little too hard to be internet smart guy.
BJ's coming up for his spring break this week. Unfortunately I'll be doing job training every day from 1-5 which makes entertaining a bit hard. I also wanted to give him a chance to hang out with my roomates and new friends a bit but Nolan and Caroline are going on a cruise for their spring break next week and are trying to not spend any money this week. Oh well, We'll have to see how it works out.
I've been reading a lot of Neil Gaiman recently. For any of you not in the know he's the author of The Sandman comics among other things. Sandman is what first introduced me to Gaiman, and what intially reintroduced me into the world of comics. It's my favorite series and I wish more non comic nerds would read it. In addition to writing comics Gaiman also writes books. I recently read American Gods and Neverwhere, both were very good. While I initially disliked Neverwhere, the characters quickly grew on me and by the time I finished it, I enjoyed it more than American Gods. If you want a non comic introduction to Gaiman, Neverwhere's probably the best place to start. I find his writing so charming mainly because his literary worlds have a magical aspect to them that feels so natural and real as to almost be believable. I'd really like to write him a letter, but I'm a bit worried since the last time I wrote a letter to an author (Douglas Adams), he died shortly before I would have mailed it. I'll probably end up writing Gaiman and ignore my superstition. He seems interesting and friendly, the kind of guy you could ask to have lunch with sometime. In the meantime I'll be reading his collection of short stories and poems called Smoke and Mirrors.
I've rambled on long enough, so I suppose I'll close with the thought of how hilarious it would be if I actually began posting more regularly than Mow.
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February 3rd, 2005
02:15 am - leave your chest scarred like Sagat
 | You scored as The Allmighty Tallest. You are the Allmighty Tallest! You rule over others, and you always get your way. SNACKS ROCK!
Zim | | 100% | The Allmighty Tallest | | 100% | Gaz | | 67% | Professor Membrane | | 33% | Gir | | 33% | Ms. Bitters | | 0% | Dib | | 0% | </td>
Which Invader Zim Charecter are You?
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February 2nd, 2005
11:01 pm - I'm only going to the top of the hill.
I'm having a great time at my new place. My roomates are all interesting and nice. Plus I'm meeting tons of new people through them as well as getting back in touch with some old friends from high school.
Also, as a side note: This kind of sporadic and crappy updating is the reason I told myself I'd never start posting here in the first place.
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January 12th, 2005
January 10th, 2005
01:32 am - Yeah, that's about right.
| You scored as Neutral Good. A Neutral Good person tries to do the 'goodest' thing possible. These people are willing to work with the law to accomplish their goal, but if the law is corrupt they are just as willing to tear it down. To these people, doing what's right is the most important thing, regardless of rules, customs, or laws.
Lawful Good | | 75% | Neutral Good | | 75% | Lawful Neutral | | 50% | True Neutral | | 50% | Chaotic Good | | 40% | Lawful Evil | | 40% | Chaotic Neutral | | 20% | Neutral Evil | | 20% | Chaotic Evil | | 5% | </td>
What is your Alignment?
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December 7th, 2004
11:10 pm - This is so gay.
I hate Christmas-time. I like Christmas itself, just not the surrounding period generally starting the minute thanksgiving is over and over the day after. It's all so oppressive, so omnipresent. Like some modern day nazi regime for a short time every few months. You can hardly set foot outside of your home without being bombarded by deific effigies of Santa or hearing songs to the führer replacing the typical muzak.
The oppressive feeling of it all makes me want to run, but anywhere I go, it will be there. There are other aspects to the oppressive feeling. Instead of being white, the whole season feels brown to me. When I think about it I see shades of brown. People wearing ugly brown sweaters, indoors no less. I think of spices. I feel trapped like I'm swimming around in a jug of apple cider. I wish I could just skip the whole thing and get straight to the business of Christmas itself. I know a lot of people love all those things I just said I despised but it all just feels so wrong to me.
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04:00 am - So I lied.
I feel compelled to write. Not because it’s something important. Not because I have some great revelation to espouse. I just need to get something out of me that I can look at and feel like I did something. Maybe one day all this vomiting up words on to paper will amount to something. Maybe one day I’ll put words down that tell a story, or words that mean something to people, instead of words that barely even mean anything to me. I suppose not any time soon though. Back at GSU I used to write pages of notes during class, not actual class notes though. Sometimes the notes I wrote would be to nobody, just like this, to get something on paper or to see the ink flow from a pen I liked. Sometimes the notes I wrote were to Amy but I don’t think she ever got any of them. They weren’t anything important, just musings and how my day was going, what I had been thinking about, etcetera. I always told myself I’d type them up and mail them to her, but I never would. I know she likes to know I’m thinking of her and I’m sure since we saw each other rarely at the time she’d have appreciated the gesture, but I couldn’t bring myself to take the time to transcribe it all from notebook paper to the computer, so buried in schoolwork throughout college are pages and pages of letters like this. I’d go back through and look at them but I don’t tend to do that kind of thing. Spotlights on my life at various points generally do nothing other than show me I don’t change much over time and I have a lot of the same complaints now that I did then. Writings like this are a symptom of that. Somewhere between being a little kid and starting to grow up I lost all my creativity. I have such a desire to make things, to write, to draw, to make music, to create anything, but I have nothing inside me trying to get out other than that desire itself. It’s kind of like a thirsty man pulling an empty bucket out of a dry well over and over. It can get very frustrating. I keep hoping one day I’ll break through that and become inspired, but I’m obviously still waiting. Maybe I should start writing down all my daydreams and the odd things I think about. It would at least be something.
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February 17th, 2004
01:25 am - Lazy or mysterious?
I'm that guy who's reading your journal, but doesn't post in his own.
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