Scott

Woah

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 20:20:06 GMT

I got married the other day ffffffffff

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 05:23:44 GMT

so it goes

Mystery solved.

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 02:19:48 GMT

Question: What ever happened to old school goths?

Answer: They became makeup artists.

God it's been a lovely day. Everything's been going my way. I had so much fun today and I'm on fire.

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 06:05:49 GMT

Amy's in the Bahamas right now. She'll be back on Tuesday. Her phone's been turned off the whole time she's been gone which is kind of obnoxious.

I'm living in my new place now. It's effectively downtown. All I have to do is hike up a hill and I'm there. I pray to God that I lose some weight this semester since I'll be getting off my lazy and doing stuff and walking everywhere. Location aside I kinda like my old place a little better. The rooms here are small, I have to share a bathroom, and it's much more expensive, but I guess that's the price of good location. It's not as if I get up and dance around my room regularly anyway so it's not a big issue.

I went to the lake this weekend with Brandon, Jenn, Robert, Meghan, and Patrick. I had a pretty good time aside from the moderate sunburn and some stupid shit on Sunday I won't even go into on here. I got drunk last night. The most drunk I've ever been, (which isn't saying much because I've only been drunk one other time. I had a few Jack and Cokes, then once the coke was gone, gatorade and vodka. I was really gone. I couldn't screen the things coming out of my mouth, they just came out as I thought them. I remember myself at least being coherent and at least somewhat eloquent. I do recall doing lots of giggling and occasionally covering my mouth and blushing. As Meghan pointed out, I seem to become a regular chatty cathy once I get drunk. We all were supposed to go to bed around 3:30 but I kept talking Meghan's ear off for God knows how long before I finally shut up and let her get to sleep. Still not sure when I went out, but I do know I got up just before 8 when the sun decided to pull a Raiders of the Lost Arc on my left eyeball. After going downstairs to check my phone for the time, I came back up and spent the next hour and a half trying unsuccessfully go back to sleep, and a subsequent half an hour trying to figure out whether or not to wake up anyone else before I finally realized Jenn was already up.

Highlight of today was probably my decision that cutting a spin on the Seadoo going 35 mph was not only something within the realm of physics as we know it, but also a damn good idea. I started laughing the instant I launched sidelong off the damn thing. When I came up the Seadoo was about 20 to 30 feet away from me. Unfortunately later I noticed a spot on my leg that hurt pretty badly. I can only imagine this came from me wanging my leg upon the seat or some other outcropping as I went flying.

I'm not entirely sure but I seem to be suffering some sort of prolongued inebriation. I know I'm not drunk and I'm certainly not high, but I certainly feel as if I'm in an altered state. I don't have any problems with words flying out but my train of thought does seem to be a bit off the rails since last night. I've still been talking a lot. I strongly considered writing an entire LJ post in a sonnet using iambic pentameter, then cramming it into paragraph format then waiting to see if anyone noticed (I realized I was far to lazy and tired at this point. I'm also using a smattering of short and to the point sentences instead of my normal run-on garbage. I just realized what this feeling is. At most I think I got about 2 hours of sleep last night. I'm not high, it's sleep deprivation. I feel much more at ease now. It's still kinda strange, and subsequently I may say some odd and fairly unguarded things.

I realized this weekend that I'm not gonna see Meghan or Gwynne very often for a long time. This made me sad. I've known Meghan for a long time but we've never been as close as I'd have liked and I was just getting to know Gwynne and finding out we have a lot of interest in common, particularly things that I have no other person I can actually talk to in real life about. The Gwynne goodbye boat kinda already sailed without me but at least we get one more hurrah for Meghan before she goes away. I'll miss them both a lot, but they present a good reason to go check out Seattle and I know they'll be back here every now and then. I live very much in the present, and throughout life people have come and gone from my life like water, their time as my friends done as they go to new things as various factors split us apart, but there are just some people I can't let that happen with and Meghan and Gwynne happen to be two of them.

In summary:
1) The sun should be replaced with some form of warm, ambient lighting that doesn't cook you with radiation.
2) Physics wins every time
3) Being a talkative drunk is both fun and dangerous.
4) You don't know what you've got till it's gone.

The day the whole world went away

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 19:59:38 GMT

Lots on my mind lately. I've been meaning to talk about it all and I guess now I will. Lately I've been thinking about how I think. More specifically I've been wondering if other people's internal monologue is the same as mind. I wonder how they're different. I wonder if there are people out there who think purely in ideas or images or sounds rather than words. This was all sparked by a disussion in SA's comic forum, Batman's Shameful Secret. Someone posted in BSS asking what voices people heard when they read specific characters in comics. Lots of people responded giving their own answers. A few us, myself included, responded by saying we don't imagine voices when when read. When I see words on a page I don't imagine a voice that goes along with them. I simply see what's written and understand. I kind of wonder if I'm missing out on anything by not imagining those voices.

This kind of derailed into wondering about other ways I comprehend or think about things and how they're different from others. Something I recently realized was a lot of the time the way I think unravels like one of Vonnegut's Kilgore Trout stories within his books. I've decided to think of Vonnegut as the author of dozens of different autobiographies, but that's a discussion for another time. What I was getting at is that when I start daydreaming about something it can be some big master plan or a whole life story that unfolds. I may occasionally get side tracked by details but for the most part it's just distilled into all the major important parts then I'm done with the fantasy and move on. This reminds me of all the stories Trout has in Vonnegut's books. These are all stories that Vonnegut thinks up and wants to get out there but doesn't feel like fleshing out. I feel the same way about a lot of my fantasies. The difference between this and me is that I'm even to lazy to relay mine as short stories. To try to express to others my train of thought I'm going to attempt to give you an accurate recreation of one such fantasy of mine. Of course this happened a while ago and writing stream of concious from memory is kind of dumb to begin with but hey, I've got nothing better to do right now. I'll have to provide some third person narrative to let you know the context in which these thoughts were occuring.

So here for your amusement, interest, or horror is a recreation of my mind at work:

//I'm eating Lunch at Inoko Express reading an article in the paper about splits in the Republican party over the Democrat filibuster and the role of Christianity in policy making//

I'm glad to see there's finally some people in the Republican party standing up to the religious bullshit going on in their party. Even McCain is saying that the idea that the fillibuster is anti-religious is stupid. I'm really frustrated at people like DeLay who wave around religion for their own purposes without caring about the real beliefs behind it. I wish I were in charge of the government so I could do something about all this. I wonder if I'd be electable. How much would things I've said online come back to haunt me. A few ADTRW alone could probably ruin any political career. What's it going to be like in the future when people my age are beginning to move en masse into politics? Will the internet come back to haunt them. Will the moronic posts of a 13 year old kid be used as political fodder? These days everything people can get their hands on already are, it shouldn't be hard to go fishing and find something pretty nasty on the internet in a decade or two. How would I even get to be President anyway? I don't really want to be a politician and I definately don't want to be military. Guess I'd need to find some other avenue.

//I read about the new Pope//

Man, this guy seems like a hardass. Is this really the image the Catholic church wants to be projecting? I disagreed with JP2's policy in most ways but at least he was really nice. He was friendly. His background was as a Pastor of a church and he kept that with him as he rose through the ranks. Even as Pope he may have been a backroom wizard as far as church politics go, but he still carried himself and spoke to people as a Pastor. He was someone that uplifted people and could make them feel cared for. This new guy seems like the Catholic Church equivalent of a lifetime bureaucrat. That's not the kind of face you want to put on an organization. If they want to look like that to the world I guess that's their business, not like it directly effects me. My mom always talked a lot about how Catherine was a great Minister but a poor Pastor. //Catherine was the Minister of the Presbyterian church I'm a member of// My mom was right. Catherine is really knowledgable about theological matters and writes good sermons but she never really was cut out for caring for a congregation. For a while there I wanted to be a Minister, and part of me still does. My beliefs have changed from that point to the point where I don't think I could really be a minister in any of the core Protestant Chuches without lying to myself. Church as a whole has kind of gotten creepy. It's weird standing around with everyone reciting things like the Nicene Creed or any of the other things we all do in unison. It's really cultish. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Really the only difference between a cult and religion is the number of people you have following it. I still believe in the God and Jesus, but I can't agree with a lot of other things any of the church believes. I think if I were to be a Minister, I'd be kind of Catherine. I don't want to deal with people's personal problems but I still like to provide guidance. Really I like telling people how they should live.

Maybe it's time the world got a new religion. Sure new ones pop up all the time but they're all dumb. Bullshit like Wicca is just a bunch of made up crap that doesn't really matter. Obviously the ideas of Jesus appeal to me. I should make a new Christian religion. A reboot of Christian ideaology. I can start my own religion. Maybe I can be President that way. Sharpton runs all the time on nothing but credentials as a civil rights crusader, troublemaker, and man of God. He never gets elected but that's because he's a finger pointing jackass. I'm gonna start this religion. It'll be like Christianity distilled. It won't have any of the baggage. Jesus taught to love your fellow man, to lead a life of kindness and peace. I'll take that. It won't even have to be a religion in the traditional sense. There won't even be any faith involved. You won't have to believe in Jesus or God. The only thing you have to believe in is that people respecting and loving each other is the way that we should live and that the story of Jesus sets a pretty good example. Kind of like the Unitarians only a little more focused. We'll observe that conflict is bad but a reality of the world we live in and must be dealt with in the best way possible to ensure the world doesn't get more fucked up. I don't care if you're pro-life anti-death penalty or what. You can be a member. Just remember that bullshit is on you. Those are you personal beliefs based on your own ideas, not the ideas of my religion. I'm not giving you rules I'm giving you ideas. Kevin Smith may be a mediocre director but he was definately moving in the right direction in Dogma. It's about an idea. I think people need to be remind what that idea is and i'm the one to do it. I'm sure there are lots of christians out there who are tired of dogma and baggage over the years. They know what they believe but they don't want zealots or close minded people shaming them. Of course I'd need a name. Church of Jesus 2.0 is stupid. Reformed Church of Jesus sounds dumb to. I don't want to come off sound like the Mormons with their longwinded full name. Hell I'll just call it New Religion. That sounds trendy and accessible. My religion will change the world, I'll have lots of followers. I'll write a book about how I made the whole thing. I'll go on talk shows. The world will be a better place because of me. I could run for president as an independant. I might win I might not, I'd have already made my mark.

I wonder if anyone else has dreams like this. I'm sure others have dreams of world domination but I wonder if anyone else derives some kind of selfish satisfaction from the idea of gaining power through helping people. I want to be famous and poweful, but I want to do it by doing something positive. I want to make the world a better place. I don't know whether I want to get power to make the world a better place or if I want to make the world a better place to gain power. I don't think it really matters. It all stems from the fact I know what's best for the world and if everyone listened to me the world would be better. So I suppose it's really a chicken/egg scenario in the end, the idea of being in power and improving the world are kind of indivisible so as far as I'm concerned when either is accomplished so will the other and everyone will be happy.

//By this point I've left Inoko and am driving up to my house//

I really should start a new religion I could be rich and famous. I'll flesh it out later. I don't really feel like writing it all up, so maybe some other day. I know it probably won't really work, but it's something to keep in mind. I should at least try it some time. I don't see how it could hurt anything other than taking a up a bit of my time. Time for WoW.

//I get out of my car and go inside. The end//

To my best reccolection that's verbatim what I was thinking aside from minor asides like funny looking people I passed or thinking about the arrangement of keys on my keyring. Sometimes it's a little shorter than that, sometime longer, but that's generally the flow of things. Wandering, looping back, usually pretty self ceneted as you can tell, or anyone who knows me well already knows.

On to a different topic, WoW is pretty fun. I normally hate PvP in MMOs but it's actually fun in WoW. I think it's the closest you can come to full on PvP and still have fun. I love the idea of factions. I like knowing that not everyone is out to get me and that I have people I can rely on to get my back if I need it. It's always frustrating when some 60's are harassing you when you're level 20something but you can just call in some friends to even the odds. One of the most interesting aspects of the whole thing is the language. Horde and Alliance cannot talk to each other. Speech to the other faction just comes out as garbled (and occasionally hilarious) gibberish. Emotes are the only effective way to communicate. The reason it's interesting is it really adds to the flavor.

Sometimes a player won't want to fight, usually this is communicated by a wave but this game pays much more to be paranoid. As a fairly nonviolent person the biggest reason I have to kill others is to make sure they don't kill me. I don't actively seek out people to attack but as I said, paranoia is a good policy and a first strike is always going to be most effective. I've occasionally run up on even or higher con alliance that I've simply obliterated (nerf rogues). I feel bad about it most of the time. They probably didn't feel like getting killed while running around minding their own business only to have a troll shaped whirlwind of destruction run up and ruin their shit. The best thing I can do is run up to them later and use /apologize. I can be like "Sorry, I didn't mean to be an ass." For all I know they think I'm further taunting them. I get the feeling they'll grow up to be one of those assholes who run to lowbie zones as level 60 terrorizing people too low to fight back and it will be all because of me. The magic of the language barrier makes the other race seem all that more sinister.

Someone changed the guild motd the other day to read "We have always been at war with the Alliance" which is funny because the Alliance and Horde actually ally to fight a greater threat prior to WoW only to have that crushed later on (by some filthy traitorous Alliance backstabbers.) I've been really impressed at the way the game builds animosity towards the other faction. Playing as the Horde I feel like we're the ones just trying to get along and the Alliance are the evil assholes (mostly because they are.) I'm sure the Alliance feel the same way in relation to Horde (but they'd be deluded and wrong.) The game may have stupid gameplay issues but the flavor of this game is next to none as far as MMOs go.

Looking back I'm thinking maybe I should post more regularly so I don't get the backed up trainwreck look this post is sporting. I know there was more i wanted to post but I can't remember it right now and it's obvious that it's better saved for another post perhaps another day.

ephemeral style

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 07:41:12 GMT

Mini WoW Fashion Show time.

I've been meaning to make a big pages long post talking about all kinds of shit lately but I've been just to tired. I'll get around to doing that at some later date. In the meantime I'll post a bunch of rush job pictures of my WoW character. I'll find a more fancy spot with better lighting some other time as well.

There's a side shot of Vyria in what I normally wear around right now. It doesn't look great but at least most of it coordinates. It's better than the ugly mishmash I had until recently.

Another side picture, sans the guild tabard.

That's right, my guild's Tabard is the stately lobster bib. Just one of the myriad of reasons Bizarro Goon Squad is better than Goon Squad.

Some worthless robe I got off the same guy that gave me the fancy dagger I'm swinging around. It looks pretty though.

I really wish the mageweave clothes weren't so worthless for me stat wise, otherwise I'd wear them all the time. Same for the other gear in this picture. Goggles are the entire reason I took Engineering, but now that I've got better gear than any goggles I can make I'm a little sad. At least I can still throw them on for playing dress up.

Next time I'll have some better lit pictures and maybe some action shots, plus and update of real content!*

*pointless rambling

Cause we find ourselves in the same old mess singing drunken lullabies

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 07:07:11 GMT

I'm working now and it's already getting a little odd. For a lot of the time I'm there it's as if I'm an observer riding around in someone else's body. I imagine eight hours of repetitive work can do that to anyone. I hear my voice and I know it's myself talking to people on the phone but there aren't any of my cognitive faculties being used, it's just a shell going through the motions and my mind is somehow detatched and just there. Back when I was doing the church lawn it was different. I was on autopilot, but not in the same way. The mowing allowed my mind the wander and to think about other things. With this I'm on autopilot, but I still have to be there monitoring. I think the key difference is that in this case I'm having to dynamically interact with other people but I'm still moving along rails so I don't have the same kind of mental freedom. It's pretty annoying, but working right now is a higher priority than keeping myself entertained so I think I'll just keep at it until something better comes along or until I find it unbearable.

Along those same lines, I've been recently contemplating what it means for people adapt, endure, and overcome. To be more specific the distinction of enduring and surviving vs. enduring and overcoming. I think I'll write more on it once I get some free time but it basically comes down to the idea that the human adaptability that has let us overcome the earth and the stars and limited us when it comes to our own lives. Humans have an astounding ability to adapt to horrible situations and endure through them. The problem is when people adapt to an adverse situation and are then able to endure it, they will not try to change or improve that situation. Even the most deplorable situation can be sustainable and when people merely accept that situation because they can survive in it, that's a bad thing. Basically what I'm thinking is that the biggest advantage humans have among living creatures is also a liability when it comes to advancement of our world. I'm sure this sounds like rambling gibberish. Perhaps I'll be better able to articulate these ideas when I'm more sober. Today was Saint Patrick's Day after all.

Tonight was the first time I tried Jameson's. It has a bit of the sweetness of a bourbon style whiskey but had the dry and mostly flavorless finish of a Scotch whisky, which I don't really care for. I think I'll stick to my Jack Daniel's when it comes to liquor but Jameson's is still drinkable, especially at $3.50 a glass at the Globe. Also, I can't understand anyone that would want to drink whiskey any way but neat.

As Jenny and I were leaving the Globe I wanted to make a toast for the evening because it seemed appropriate, but my mouth kind of sealed itself. I doubt I'd have come up with anything of worth anyway. The only toast I could think of was Hob Gadling's from Season of Mists. I love the toast but I can't think of any time I'll ever be able to use it. If I ever do find that appropriate time, I'm certain everyone around me would instantly think I was obviously the coolest person ever. I suppose I'll record it here for posterity or for anyone who has never heard it before:

"A toast: To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due."

The boy had the towering arrogance only seen in the greatest of artists and all nine-year-old boys.

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 10:16:35 GMT

I've got a job!

It's a mediocre paying job sitting on my ass answering phones taking orders. When you just sit around all day trying to find ways to fill time and wishing you had any money, it's a pretty pleasing alternative though.

On the topic of filling time, I think I'm starting to get bored with City of Heroes. Pretty short run for an MMORPG, especially by my standards. To be honest though it's not like CoH is oozing with content. There's a lot of things they do right, and they're constantly adding new content, it doesn't offer a terrible amount of variety. I think I'll be closing out my subscription after Issue 4 comes out, but at the same time I'm a little sad about that since I've had a great time talking with the Goon community, but CoH, much like my autumn days of everquest is becoming something I log in to chat with, stand around, then log out.

Of course quitting CoH most likely means I'll be plunging head first into WoW shortly there after. At least that way I'll be able to catch up with a few friends who have outright disappeared since the release of that damn thing. Amy won't be please. Somehow I think she views City of Heroes to be the lesser of MMORPG evils compared to WoW. Not that she appreciates anything that distracts me from her.

Thanks to Amy I've been wandering around deviantart lately. I feel kind of conflicted about. In part it wants me to attempt to draw. On the other hand there are some truly horrifying pieces of bad art that I can't believe people thought fit to show off. Good for those people for not being self conscious about their work...but sad for the art viewing masses that may run across said work.

I suppose my lamentation over my lack of creativity earlier wasn't terribly well founded. I don't have any stories in my head, but I have plenty of images. Imagery I wish I my hands were smart enough to put on paper, but at least there's something there. It's still no less frustrating than having the ability to write but not the source of inspiration.

Sometimes when talking to people I wonder if I'm getting too verbose. A few weeks ago I was out with Caroline and Jenny when they pointed out I had used the word amalgam twice that evening. I like to think I keep that thing to a minimum. I get a little self conscious about it whenever I read any of Tycho's Penny Arcade updates. I know I have a tendency to use some excessively large words you don't see in every day speech but whenever I read Tycho's updates I just see . It's annoying, especially whenever I have to read the same thing over again to figure out what the fuck he's trying to say. I like the comic, but I think the guy is trying a little too hard to be internet smart guy.

BJ's coming up for his spring break this week. Unfortunately I'll be doing job training every day from 1-5 which makes entertaining a bit hard. I also wanted to give him a chance to hang out with my roomates and new friends a bit but Nolan and Caroline are going on a cruise for their spring break next week and are trying to not spend any money this week. Oh well, We'll have to see how it works out.

I've been reading a lot of Neil Gaiman recently. For any of you not in the know he's the author of The Sandman comics among other things. Sandman is what first introduced me to Gaiman, and what intially reintroduced me into the world of comics. It's my favorite series and I wish more non comic nerds would read it. In addition to writing comics Gaiman also writes books. I recently read American Gods and Neverwhere, both were very good. While I initially disliked Neverwhere, the characters quickly grew on me and by the time I finished it, I enjoyed it more than American Gods. If you want a non comic introduction to Gaiman, Neverwhere's probably the best place to start. I find his writing so charming mainly because his literary worlds have a magical aspect to them that feels so natural and real as to almost be believable. I'd really like to write him a letter, but I'm a bit worried since the last time I wrote a letter to an author (Douglas Adams), he died shortly before I would have mailed it. I'll probably end up writing Gaiman and ignore my superstition. He seems interesting and friendly, the kind of guy you could ask to have lunch with sometime. In the meantime I'll be reading his collection of short stories and poems called Smoke and Mirrors.

I've rambled on long enough, so I suppose I'll close with the thought of how hilarious it would be if I actually began posting more regularly than Mow.

leave your chest scarred like Sagat

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 07:21:14 GMT

You scored as The Allmighty Tallest. You are the Allmighty Tallest! You rule over others, and you always get your way. SNACKS ROCK!

</td>

Zim

100%

The Allmighty Tallest

100%

Gaz

67%

Professor Membrane

33%

Gir

33%

Ms. Bitters

Dib

Which Invader Zim Charecter are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

I'm only going to the top of the hill.

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 07:05:11 GMT

I'm having a great time at my new place. My roomates are all interesting and nice. Plus I'm meeting tons of new people through them as well as getting back in touch with some old friends from high school.

Also, as a side note: This kind of sporadic and crappy updating is the reason I told myself I'd never start posting here in the first place.

Guess who's playing City of Heroes!

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 08:24:52 GMT

Yeah, that's about right.

Mon, 10 Jan 2005 08:32:33 GMT

You scored as Neutral Good. A Neutral Good person tries to do the 'goodest' thing possible. These people are willing to work with the law to accomplish their goal, but if the law is corrupt they are just as willing to tear it down. To these people, doing what's right is the most important thing, regardless of rules, customs, or laws.

</td>

Lawful Good

75%

Neutral Good

75%

Lawful Neutral

50%

True Neutral

50%

Chaotic Good

40%

Lawful Evil

40%

Chaotic Neutral

20%

Neutral Evil

20%

Chaotic Evil

What is your Alignment?
created with QuizFarm.com

This is so gay.

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 04:16:46 GMT

I hate Christmas-time. I like Christmas itself, just not the surrounding period generally starting the minute thanksgiving is over and over the day after. It's all so oppressive, so omnipresent. Like some modern day nazi regime for a short time every few months. You can hardly set foot outside of your home without being bombarded by deific effigies of Santa or hearing songs to the führer replacing the typical muzak.

The oppressive feeling of it all makes me want to run, but anywhere I go, it will be there. There are other aspects to the oppressive feeling. Instead of being white, the whole season feels brown to me. When I think about it I see shades of brown. People wearing ugly brown sweaters, indoors no less. I think of spices. I feel trapped like I'm swimming around in a jug of apple cider. I wish I could just skip the whole thing and get straight to the business of Christmas itself. I know a lot of people love all those things I just said I despised but it all just feels so wrong to me.

So I lied.

Tue, 07 Dec 2004 09:08:02 GMT

I feel compelled to write. Not because it’s something important. Not because I have some great revelation to espouse. I just need to get something out of me that I can look at and feel like I did something. Maybe one day all this vomiting up words on to paper will amount to something. Maybe one day I’ll put words down that tell a story, or words that mean something to people, instead of words that barely even mean anything to me. I suppose not any time soon though. Back at GSU I used to write pages of notes during class, not actual class notes though. Sometimes the notes I wrote would be to nobody, just like this, to get something on paper or to see the ink flow from a pen I liked. Sometimes the notes I wrote were to Amy but I don’t think she ever got any of them. They weren’t anything important, just musings and how my day was going, what I had been thinking about, etcetera. I always told myself I’d type them up and mail them to her, but I never would. I know she likes to know I’m thinking of her and I’m sure since we saw each other rarely at the time she’d have appreciated the gesture, but I couldn’t bring myself to take the time to transcribe it all from notebook paper to the computer, so buried in schoolwork throughout college are pages and pages of letters like this. I’d go back through and look at them but I don’t tend to do that kind of thing. Spotlights on my life at various points generally do nothing other than show me I don’t change much over time and I have a lot of the same complaints now that I did then. Writings like this are a symptom of that. Somewhere between being a little kid and starting to grow up I lost all my creativity. I have such a desire to make things, to write, to draw, to make music, to create anything, but I have nothing inside me trying to get out other than that desire itself. It’s kind of like a thirsty man pulling an empty bucket out of a dry well over and over. It can get very frustrating. I keep hoping one day I’ll break through that and become inspired, but I’m obviously still waiting. Maybe I should start writing down all my daydreams and the odd things I think about. It would at least be something.

Lazy or mysterious?

Tue, 17 Feb 2004 06:24:57 GMT

I'm that guy who's reading your journal, but doesn't post in his own.